Where did the last 4 weeks go? I feel like I blinked and it should be March still instead of April 11th. Sorry for our lack of posts lately. Life has been great, but really full! Full of times with family and friends and also full of cleaning, clearing and preparing. To sell our house—again.
If you were following along with the blog in the fall then you know that I wrote a post about our family moving. Check it out here if you missed it.
Well there hasn’t been any post since, about us moving. And the short of it is-we haven’t moved.
I wasn’t so sure what to even write for a while about the whole moving situation. Sometimes, when you are walking through something and have expectations about how it should go or end up—you are left kinda floundering and mostly speechless when its not what you pictured.
I’ll be honest and say back in the fall, I was super hopeful with some of the offers we had on our house and then really disappointed and deeply sad when it all fell through. I went through weeks where I didn’t feel like myself. Where I cried myself to sleep and when I just went to sleep (literally at 8pm) so I didn’t have to deal with my feelings about our house not selling.
To give you a little background—We had a huge success selling our first home on our own when we lived in Ohio, and I really felt Iike we’d have the same scenario here with this house. That hasn’t been the case though. And its kinda crushed my pride and for lack of a better word, been embarrassing to talk about. As I type all of this, I know how silly and crazy it all sounds coming out—that I would be embarrassed and also so sad about my house not selling.
But looking back, I held so much weight on my shoulders about our move. Not selling our house meant two huge things to me: financial stress and our family being separated (aka—single mommin it). More on that whole single mom thing in a different post.
So to finishing catching you all up—after 3 months on the market and also a change in heart we took our house off the market in order for our kids to finish the school year, for me to have a break and to reassess how we should go about selling the house in the future.
I felt really at peace with this decision and in the midst of the two things I mentioned above, I decided to find joy and contentment in staying in Augusta. I got out of my funk. Who’s to say my attitude could only be adjusted based on my situation? It’s a choice…to be happy.
We had (and continue to have) a great support system of friends and family and I knew that through this whole experience the Lord was growing, changing and strengthening me as an individual, mother and wife.
I said this in the fall as I was initially explaining our move that “it’s funny when we think or assume that our expectations and path only belong to us. Like we are in complete control or something.” That statement I wrote 6 months ago, completely is true, even on the other side of our situation now.
Looking back on the last few months, I would say staying here instead of uprooting so quickly was actually the best thing. In a lot of ways, I’ve felt protected in my marriage and challenged to face some of my flaws in parenting. Even though this wasn’t the plan I expected, I’ve seen God’s presence through it. And I’ve realized I don’t have to live perfectly. I just need to live fully and faithfully.
So today we enter round 2. Our house goes on the market.
And once again, I’m stepping in to the unknown.
Thankfully, I’m fully known by Him.
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” Psalm 37:7