Is anyone else a little speechless with everything that’s been going on the last few weeks? It’s hard to post about the silly or simple things when we live in a world that often times is dark and weary.
I’m not an expert on politics or solving the world’s problems, but what I’ve been thinking of during the last few weeks is how precious life really is and how I can make my mark. Making a conscience decision about how to live my life–in this moment. Especially when its fleeting and often times unexpectedly different than we thought.
What really leaves an impact? What moves people? What truly inspires people down to their core? It’s cliche, but I’m pretty confident about the answer. An answer that is simple to say, but incredibly hard to deliver. And in my little bubble of a world currently–it can be a struggle. LOVE.
This is a struggle (living a life of love) especially when I’m parenting my sweet and often times not so sweet children. The children that we will send off into the world one day.
Has anyone else seen the ugly, defeated and not-so-lovely parts of themselves while parenting? It should be easy right? It the midst of the world’s craziness, I should be able to parent and have control over at least one important thing right? However, in my reality, this is not true.
My day is filled with moments where I can snap in an instant if I choose. Situations where I can use ugly words and unruly authority to “make things right.” Sometimes throughout the day I don’t recognize myself.
Ugh, it is a real battle. What I want to be as a parent is often times the opposite of what I look like.
I know that my biggest calling and responsibility in this phase of life is to love the little people in my house and show them what an unconditional love looks like. And to be honest-some days I’m really bad at it. Teaching and showing my girls the Lord and planting seeds deep in their hearts to experience love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control is my true desire. And then watching them hopefully love others that way.
I’m not trying to do this perfectly by any means and/or be a cookie cutter mom. And as a family we struggle–aka, my children are not angels, and as you can see-I can be a hot mess. But, I’m trying to remember the big picture (loving well) and letting that lead me through the ins and outs of my day.
In a world with so many unknowns- I want my kids to be sure that they are known. Their worth, identity and hope is in something greater than this chaotic world.
Sometimes, I think about my kids 20 years from now and wonder what parenting will be like. I know it will look different and the dynamics will most definitely have changed. (No more wiping butts-haha!) But I’m hoping that a few things will be the same with my parenting. I’m hoping my girls will see I’m not perfect. That I need grace and lots of patience each day. That my strength doesn’t come from myself. That my hope doesn’t come from this world. That I’m still working on being the best mom for them. And that love never leaves them–from me or from God.
And that’s what I’m focusing on as the momma of crazy-little ones at the moment, when the world seems shaky around me. Living in love. Making waves and changes in hearts by relying on the love God has for us. (Even when I’m ready to pull my hair out and have this silly girl style it, lol!)